October 2017 Reading/Watching/Listening

READING

My Mother Was Nuts by Penny Marshall - This has been on my list for a long time. It was so good. Seriously, five out of five stars. Her life was fascinating and I loved how she handled everything. I just want to be a cross between Penny Marshall and Dolly Parton. I didn't realize she had directed so many movies I love. I have seen and re-watched all of them except for one. However, there was a section of this book that gave me that yucky feeling in my stomach. I don't expect funny people to have funny life stories - quite the opposite - and her story isn't really sad, but there was something about it. First, her child was sort of taken from her and sort of abandoned by her when she was only a few years old. As a mom of a toddler, that was horrifying. I don't judge her.

April 2017 Read/Watched/Listened

Read:

Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny by Holly Madison - I was riveted by the Girls Next Door. If you were, too, I recommend this book.

The Taliban Shuffle (Whiskey Tango Foxtrot) - Good, but kind of sad.

My Voice: A Memoir by Angie Martinez - If you came of age in the 90s and listened to hip-hop, I recommend it.

So, I think something is broken inside of me. I can't get into any fiction books. I even went back to my old standbys John Connolly and Walter Mosley. Nothing took. I don't even know who I am anymore.

Watched:

Life in Pieces - This show is weird and I can't figure out if in a good way or bad way. Some seriously offensive jokes in the show. A couple of good characters, though.

Chewing Gum Season Two. Michaela Coel is a global treasure. May the muses always be by her side.

Lost Girl - Love this show. So upset it's only five seasons long. I love it so much, I've actually been able to parcel it out to make it last.

Life - I liked it when it came out, but I had a feeling it would get canceled, so I stopped watching. Good show to have on in the background.

GirlBoss - Made it about five minutes into episode 1. No gracias.

Frasier - Series Rewatch #726

Netflix removed Buffy. I had a rough couple of days over it.

Joshua v. Klitschko - Damn good fight.

Listened: It was an Al Green, Emmylou Harris  type of month.

March 2017 Reading/Watching

March was absolutely pathetic reading-wise. It's even sadder, because it was my birthday month and reading is my favorite thing. Probably explains my janky-ass mood lately.

Books I finished:

-Difficult Women by Roxane Gay (Love her writing. Love her Twitter. Lover her. She is my Beyonce.)

-Lumberjanes: Beware the Kitten Holy (This is a graphic novel, but it counts, okay?! I put it on my Amazon wish list to remember to get it for my daughter when she's older. Husband purchased a couple of volumes for me for my birthday and I'm glad he did, because it was pretty good. I've started the second volume.)

-I re-read my favorite poem more than usual. (To You by Walt Whitman: http://www.bartleby.com/142/175.html - Get you some!)

Books I started, but didn't finish:

-Queen Sugar: A Novel by Natalie Baszile (Seemed promising, but it fizzled out. I think it's a TV show now, but I don't have cable, so . . .)

-A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf (Look, I really tried. There were some good morsels in there, but wrap it up, sister.)

-The Sixth Extinction by Elizabeth Kolbert (Um, I checked it out from the library. This was supposed to be my non-fiction for the month.)

-The Wangs vs The World by Jade Chang (Too much set up. Maybe the whole book was set up? Made it about a quarter of the way through.)

-I Almost Forgot About You by Terry McMillan (I made it a third of the way through. It didn't grab me.)

-Strangers in Their Own Land: Anger and Mourning on the American Right by Arlie Russell Hochschild (I read the first page of the preface and it's too soon and I'm still too pissed off and I don't see a lot of the right trying to understand us, so eat me.)

-I've started re-reading the Godfather. Still great.

Watched/Watching:

-Schitt's Creek (So good, just for Catherine O'Hara's accent alone.)

-One Mississippi (Dark and light and wonderful.)

-Transparent (Bummed I'm so late to this, but glad, because I was able to binge.)

-The Kettering Incident (Couldn't get into it. Kind of a cross between Top of the Lake, which I loved, and The OA, which was decent.)

-Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Finished the second season.)

-Moonlight (I already posted about this. I still think about this movie on the regular.)

-Logan (Brutal. Dark. Gory. And I cried harder than I've cried at the movies in a long time. I watched the X-Men cartoons as an older kid when I thought I was done with cartoons. I've loved all of the movies, except X-Men: Apocalypse. I'm going to cry just thinking about it.)

-Lost Girl (Just started and it's surprisingly good if you choose to ignore the production value and some plot holes.)

-Rewatching Buffy (I start about halfway through season 3, skip the latter half of season 5, then finish it up. My gajillionth rewatch?)

Looking forward to:

-Getting my reading mojo back. (Pray for me, y'all. Also, any fiction recommendations? Ease me in with some detective novels or beach reads.)

-More Lumberjanes!

-The second season of Chewing Gum.

-Trying to get back into boxing. My multiple Kovalev sightings MUST BE a sign to get back into it.

January/February 2017 Reading/Watching/Listening

Read/Reading:
-And Sometimes I Wonder About You: A Leonid McGill Mystery
-The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference (Januarynon-fiction)
-Karma: A Leonid McGill Mystery
-A Little Life (Couldn't finish this one - lost interest)
-Ghettoside: A True Story of Murder in America (great read) (Februarynon-fiction)
-The Turner House (This book wasn't really about anything, but I couldn't put it down and the ending hit me sideways)
-The Third Life of Grange Copeland (Couldn't finish this one - managed to get about 10% of the way through it before it became too dark)
-Queen Sugar: A Novel (just started it - seems promising)

Watched/Watching:
-Fuller House (good)
-One Day at a Time (reboot - so good)
-The OA (pretty good)
-Chewing Gum (so good)
-Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (good until halfway through season 2 - didn't finish)
-Crazyhead (hell yes this is so good)
-The Last Kingdom (can't believe I'm into this, but it's so good)

Listening To:
-My Nina Simone Pandora station (couldn't get through a night without it)

2016 Books I Read

Short, sometimes one sentence, reviews of books I read in 2016. The reviews go in reverse chronological order of when I read them. So, books I'm still reading are first and books from last January are at the end. 

I read forty-three books in 2016 (probably more as I re-read a lot of books that I have and check out a few physical copies of books that aren’t available for check out online for Kindle). Twenty-eight by women (I thought there would be more. Ever since I did that year of reading books written only by female authors, I’ve lean towards books written by women. I think I read 70+ books in 2015, so the decline is something to ponder.

·          

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All I Did Was Shoot My Man: A Leonid McGill Mystery (Leonid McGill series Book 4)

Walter Mosley

Almost finished with this one. I just want to sit in a warm corner with hot cocoa and finish it whenever I’m doing something else.

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·         ...

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

Malcolm Gladwell

Everything from STD outbreaks, to decline in crime, to fashion trends and how they happen. Something as small as reducing medical personnel by a few people can have a disproportionate effect. Not finished, but so far, so fascinating. Makes sense since I liked Blink by the same author.

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·         ...

Orange Is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison

Piper Kerman

I love the series on Netflix and it was fun connecting the people in the book with the characters on the show. It was a lot more poignant than I thought. Well-written.

Books I Read in January 2016

The Girl With All the Gifts by M.R. Carey

This is a post-apocalyptic, dystopian, zombie novel that is detailed in the best way. No word is a waste. There are five main characters and you get to know each one of them very well. The plot moves at a great pace . It's slower in the beginning, but that reflects what the days of the characters are like at that point in time. Once the shit hits the fan, the story moves along quickly. There's military, academia, and science. The ending was a surprise and I'm rarely surprised by revelations in books. I thought it was better than World War Z and California.

Recommendation: Highly recommend if you are into post-apocalyptic, dystopian novels, even if you're not into zombies.

The Silkworm (Cormoran Strike Book 2) by Robert Galbraith (J.K. Rowling)

I read the first book and loved it. It's fits into the classic noir detective genre - somewhat tortured detective with a colorful backstory. This one, however, is very dense and very detailed, but not in a good way. The story gets bogged down in a lot of spots then it seems like the climax happens in a couple of pages. Luckily, it is an interesting mystery and you want to know how it's solved.

Recommendation: If you're a fan of the Michael Connelly Bosch series or the Walter Mosley Easy Rawlins series, then I do recommend checking out this series.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz

This is a coming of age story about two Latino boys living in Texas in the 1980s. I don't know whether it was intentional, but it reads like it was written by an angst-y teen. I don't have a problem reading stories from the point of view of children (Haven Kimmel's memoirs are the best), but the main character came across as so whiny, it was annoying. It's not that I don't remember being an angst-y teen. It was quite frustrating and confusing at the time, but at 35, whiny teenagers are annoying.

Recommendation: Good for teens, especially those that aren't good at talking about their feelings.

Some Luck: A novel by Jane Smiley

At first, this seems like a simple story about a farming family living in Iowa in the early 20th century and I guess it is, However, I ended up getting really attached to the members and their stories spanning across 3-4 generations. It's also a great story if you're into history. There's no political commentary and some things aren't named outright, but if you know American history, there are moments of excitement when you recognize certain events that were HUGE in retrospect. There's no real plot other than people living their everyday lives lost in their own thoughts and worlds. There are no answers, no revelations, It's simple and good like a pastoral scene in book form.

Recommendation: I liked this book a lot, but I don't know to whom I would recommend it.

Fire (Graceling Realm Book 2) by Kristin Cashore

I read the first in the series and it was better than okay, so I thought I would give this a try. The first two books have strong, teenage, female protagonists. However, like most female protagonists in books I've read, they are hard on themselves and internally so fucking whiny (see A History of Witches series, The Mortal Instruments series, and The Hunger Games). They're these badass women and girls that have AMAZING strengths and talents that are all, "Why would anyone like me? What does anyone see in me? I just ruin everything all of the time. I'm so weak and don't know anything!"). I guess it’s a good style because everyone wants someone to discover, through all of their crap, how amazing they are. I guess . . . 

Most of the time, the women learn that their strengths are not something to hide or diminish, but, wow, it's a long, whiny road to get to that point. The Clarice Starlings and Smilla Jaspersens of literature are few and far between. 

Recommendation: If you're into fantasy worlds, I say give the series a shot. There isn't a lot of depth, but it passes the time.

Book Review: Girl on a Train by Paula Hawkins

I'm not sure how this book became popular (Oprah selection? Soon to be made into a motion picture?), but I'm glad it popped up on my radar. I love mysteries and suspense thrillers and it's not as easy to find ones written by female authors.*

The story is told from the viewpoints of three different, but variously connected, women. And what disasters the three of them are. I love flawed female characters. Either I can relate or they make me feel better about myself or give me insight into a type of life I wouldn't have otherwise given thought. I think it makes me softer and more forgiving. Here, there's the drunk, purposeless, cheated on, barren divorcee (Rachel), the former mistress turned stay-at-home mom (Anna), and the one who Rachel watches from the train and is neighbors with Anna. 

Bar Books

Books I’m Reading While Studying for the Bar 

I’ve always been a voracious reader. It was an escape from my scary household when I was a kid. I loved character driven fiction and read a novel a week starting in late elementary school. I loved disappearing into the worlds fiction created in my mind.

But then law school sort of broke my imagination. The time before law school (BLS), I did my best to read books that wouldn’t be turned into movies or, if they were, before they became movies. I would never even see the movies. I read plenty of books that hid in dark corners of libraries and would never be turned into anything other than dust collectors. Bur during law school I don’t think I even read in bed before lights out during the semester. However, once the first set of finals came around, I was frozen with panic and I turned to my old friends – books. Oddly, I found that I could only read books that had been turned into movies that I had seen. My study schedule for finals: study for 30 minutes, read made-into-a-movie fiction for 30 minutes, nap for 30 minutes and repeat, while nursing a single sugar-free Red Bull for 18 hour periods.

I am now studying for the bar exam 7 years after graduation. I’ve already passed one, but had an urge to take the one in the state where I now live. Every few years I like to throw my life into upheaval and I think taking the bar is a manifestation of that. I have no reason to take this bar and no need to pass. I have a job that pays well. *knock on wood* I have no hopes of practicing at a firm or really elsewhere. I can’t imagine a scenario where it would make me more money than I already make. But at least it’s productive upheaval. It’s requiring me to focus and concentrate and I’m learning really just for the sake of learning.  If I pass, it’ll be the greatest accomplishment of my life so far. If I fail, it will be so devastating that it might just break my upheaval/self-sabotage habit.

Studying now, I find myself back needing to read to calm my stress. I don’t follow my 30-30-30 cycle or having to read books that have been turned into movies anymore, but I do read before bed and when I wake. (Reading in bed in the morning is my favorite time/way to read, but it’s the most time-consuming and tends to send me into anxiety-dom because I “waste” time reading when I should be doing something else.)

Books I’ve read/re-read since I started studying for the bar a month ago:

Back to Books

There are certain books I re-read every year and have for quite a long time. There were some books in that were in rotation, but, after ten years or so, I was no longer interested in picking them up. They will be denoted with [these]. The list is Stephen King heavy, because his were the first novels I ever read when I was in elementary school. They really made an impression.

Mid-August: Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King. It just reads like a late August sunset.

Early September: Christine by Stephen King. It's the perfect back-to-school read.

Late September: Pet Sematary by Stephen King. It's just got that fall vibe.

October: Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris. One of the greatest female protagonists ever written.

[Early November: Needful Things by Stephen King.]

Thanksgiving: Smilla's Sense of Snow. One of the greatest female protagonists ever written.

Christmas: The Shining by Stephen King. Classic Christmas tale - all snowy and pretty.

February: Misery by Stephen King. I have no idea why this is my February book.

Late Spring, Early Summer: Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk and Red Dragon by Thomas Harris. It's an Ed Norton thing. These books have only come into play recently.

[June: It by Stephen King. This book is seriously messed up.]

[4th of July: The Stand by Stephen King. The first time I read this book it was over the 4th of July weekend while I was in Vegas with my family. If you've read the book, you'll know how unfortunate that is.]

On top of all of these books, I read other new books. Like every two weeks or so. Sometimes they overlap. I swear I have a social life, too. A pretty active one at that. I just have to read to fall asleep.

Anyone out there re-read favorite books regularly? I would love some book recommendations, especially of books by female authors. I'm open to genres despite the doom and gloom list above.

Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders by Neil Gaiman

 I read Neverwhere and American Gods, the latter which I love, love, loved, so I wanted to find out how his stories read in shortened versions.

The stories are quite varied. There are poems and funny stories and sad stories, but they almost all of them take place outside this realm. My favorite, of course, was “The Monarch of the Glen”, an American Gods story. Shadow is such a delicious character. The Sherlock Holmes story was spot on for the Holmes canon, but fit with Gaiman’s style, too.

I finished it a few weeks ago and every once in a while one of the stories pops into my mind and clouds over my day a little bit, but in a good way. Namely, “Keepsakes and Treasures”, a story about rich people always getting what they want and getting away with it, and “Other People/Afterlife”, basically, hell. The former seems like something that could be happening right now somewhere in the world.  Some of the stories read like drafts of thoughts. Others are like unfinished dreams that are barely remembered. I had nightmares every night I read a story in the collection.

If you like Neil Gaiman’s writing, you’ll probably like most of the stories. Like, not love. If you’re a fan of Stephen King’s short stories, you’ll definitely like a few of these stories.

A Feast for Crows by George R.R. Martin

***SPOILER ALERT*** ***SPOILER ALERT***  ***SPOILER ALERT***  ***SPOILER ALERT***

Book four and book five are supposed to have concurrent timelines, so I made the dumb decision to read them at the same time – a few chapters in one then a few chapters in the other. Don’t do this. It’s confusing.

A Feast for Crows is basically the day-to-day drudgery of war: strategizing, traveling, miscommunications, horrible conditions, betrayals, attacks, etc. However, the day-to-day drudgery in Westeros is more entertaining than any other kind of drudgery one can experience or imagine.

This is a Cersei, Jon Snow, Arya heavy book and I enjoy all of those characters. Cersei’s back story is revealed, but a bit too much in my opinion. She went to a fortune teller when she was young who foretold her marrying Robert, Robert having umpteen illegitimate children, and her having three incest babies. The fortune teller also revealed that she would see all of her children die and be overthrown by someone younger and more beautiful. If true, that’s beyond foreshadowing. That’s a spoiler in the story.  She thinks it’s Margaery, widowed bride of Joffrey and Renly and current bride of Tommen, but that seems unlikely. I think it foretold of Daenerys coming back, but who knows.

After finishing the fourth book and starting the fifth, I think all of Westeros is falling apart just so Jon and Arya could fulfill their potential. Jon is now commander at the Wall, which may have happened if his dad and Robert had lived and the lands weren’t plunged into war. However, I doubt it. And Arya! No way would this be her life: an apprentice at the most mystical monastery? She would’ve been wed to a lesser son of a decent house, most likely against her will. No way would she be allowed to fight and study such things. They’re my favorite characters, so I’m quite pleased.

However, can anyone tell me why Arya didn’t ask Sam about Jon? She knew he was from the Watch, but didn’t ask about her favorite sibling (probably)? Sam wouldn’t know who she was. She could’ve just asked general questions. It really, really bothered me. [Seriously, if anyone wants to book club this, drop me a line: thisisatesttiat@gmail.com. I’m not so much about theme and symbolism, but I need to talk (gossip) about Arya and Sansa and House Stark!]

Jamie gets more interesting with each book. Time away from Cersei has caused him to grow in amazing ways and for the scales to fall from his eyes. He finally realized what his true love really is: An ambitious sociopath who will use any means (including her lady bits) to get what she wants. The only things she wants are for her children to be protected, power, and Jamie. Jamie seems to have shunned her completely and her power seems to be more illusion than real. Karma’s a bitch to bitches, too. I’m digging it.

That’s all I can really remember. Honestly, I don’t recognize most of the characters or how they fit into the war, but it’s still great.

Something interesting: there were fewer shocking deaths and some false death alarms. I think Mr. Martin is growing fond of his characters. We’ll see . . .

Enjoyable quotes:

“Every man should lose a battle in his youth, so he does not lose a war when he is old.”

“Too stupid to learn and too stupid to give up.”

Broken Harbor by Tana French

What a bloated, cliched, overwrought mess. I don't understand how this happened. Her first three crime novels were layered with well-developed, multidimensional characters.

This novel orbited around Detective Mick "Scorcher" Kennedy, a peripheral character in her three previous novels. I was looking forward to getting to know more about him, but he turned out to be what everyone else judged him to be in the previous novels: rigid, narrow-minded, cold.

A family gets murdered, with the mother surviving, in the town where his family used to holiday. This brings up all sorts of emotional baggage - his mother killed herself there. I understand that such an event is traumatic and fundamentally affects a person and continues to do so for the rest of their life, but the way it kept being brought up, it was like a broken record. Nothing new was revealed, emotionally, just harped on. His need for control and success are rooted in that event. I get it. How about some growth?

It just didn't make sense. The ham-handed foreshadowing that led to a reveal about his partner and the reveal about what actually took place. Everyone in the story was crazy and it made me feel crazy reading it. I hated all of the characters. None of them were believable. The good friend who turns into a well-meaning stalking creeper? What? I don't recommend this book. I still recommend all three of her other novels.

Faithful Place by Tana French

A detective has to go back to the place where he grew up when belongings of his ex-girlfriend who disappeared 20 years ago are found by a construction crew. He also disappeared on the same night and hasn’t kept in touch with his family because his home life was a fucking horror show. He has to deal with them, his ex-wife, his daughter, and everything he’s been trying so hard not to deal with, but with good reason.

All of Tana French’s novels take place in Dublin, but, other than a few non-American English words, the reader would be hard pressed to know that it’s a “foreign” writer or novel. The people and their stories are universal, which is kind of an odd way to describe really intense crime novels.

I read Tana French’s first book, In the Woods, and loved it. All of her stories seem the same and, even if you know the formula and figure out the ending 5 pages in, you still can’t put them down. This book felt the most intense. Maybe it was just the story, but I know about physical abuse in the home and trying to protect siblings and what that does to everyone. I haven’t come across a book that shows it so well.

If you like the Harry Bosch series by Michael Connelly, you will definitely like Tana French’s writing. Fewer clichés and more intensity. The characters are all from the same police force, but the novels stand alone. I’ve liked each one better than the last.

December Reads

Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown

So, there are three sisters, the daughters of a Shakespearian scholar, who are psychologically messed up and have messed up lives each in their own way seemingly based on their birth order. That’s pretty much it. No real plot. I suppose there is character development in that the sisters grow up a bit and stop being such whiners. If you are an only child and know absolutely nothing about sibling relationships, then this MIGHT keep your interest. I don’t recommend this book. Not even as an easy read to pass the time. You’re better off organizing your sock drawer.

One good thing: I did enjoy the Shakespeare quotes. I finally understood some of the Bard’s writings.

Gather Together in My Name by Maya Angelou

This is the continuation of Maya Angelou’s memoirs after I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. I had no idea she had written numerous memoirs until recently when I picked up the fourth in the series. They really don’t have to be read in order, but fleeting references to her past in subsequent books whet the appetite for going back and picking up the earlier books.

This one is my favorite. Through all of her books, it’s not about the what or the why, but that life just happens and you keep going, taking what comes, doing the best you can with what you have and what you know and that, sometimes, that’s not a whole lot. I love so much how she’s not bitter and that she doesn’t blame anyone for what she goes through (with the exception of society’s treatment of black people being the reason for certain attitudes or habits, but there’s no tone of malice or martyrdom, but there is a little wicked bite to some of it).There’s no sense of victimization, but also none of that saccharine optimism everything-happens-for-a-reason that puts my teeth on edge.  It may have been more cynical or depressing if she’d written it while she was going through it, but there’s also no I’m-older-now patronizing tone, either.

Throughout the story, she conveys a sense of knowing who she was, what she stood for, and what she wanted even if those things didn’t put her in the best light and even if she betrayed those things for foolish or seemingly noble purposes. If you want to know about moving on and not letting something that you 

experience in your life define who you are and color everything you do, read this RIGHT NOW.

I vaguely remember Fiona Apple thanking Maya Angelou for everything she’s ever written. I would like to thank Ms. Angelou, too.

A few favorite quotes (Really, though, it’s important to pay attention to every word. All of them matter.):

“My natural reticence and habit of restraint prevented me from seeking other satisfaction even if it could be found.”

“I congratulated myself on having absolutely the meanest, coldest, craziest family in the world.”

“If you haven’t been trained at home to their liking, tell them to get to stepping. Stepping. But not on you.”

“There was nothing about me to bind anyone to me in sympathy. No limp, no habit, crossed eyes or attitude of helplessness.”

Singin’ and Swingin’ and Getting’ Merry Like Christmas by Maya Angelou

This is the third book of her memoirs. She experiences more in one year than most people do in a lifetime. This is more of a fun read: Her adventures abroad and in show business. The words are still magical, perfectly picked and heavy with meaning.

Currently Reading: Ripping through Tana French’s Faithful Place.  I loved In the Woods and The Likeness and this one is proving to be just as engaging.  I’m also slogging through A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons. I mostly have no idea what’s going on and there are way too many characters to keep track of, but reading about the drudgeries of everyday life during wartime wherever/whenever the fuck is pretty interesting.

Visible Darkness by William Styron

[I wasn’t going to review this book as it’s more of an essay, but with the recent suicides of retired football player Junior Seau and The Killers saxophone player Thomas Marth, it’s feels timely.] 

“[I]n the absence of hope we must still struggle to survive, and so we do – by the skin of our teeth.”

Depression is a very lonely, isolating affliction. It’s a difficult thing to share even with someone else that is going through it. Visible Darkness is like a dispatch from someone who is stranded in that desert, a message in a bottle from a ship adrift in that dark and stormy sea. And it’s wonderful.

This book is an expanded essay that appeared in Vanity Fair. It describes in detail what the landscape and journey of depression looks like from the point of view of someone who has been severely depressed and a little bit of how those who have never been afflicted react to those that have.

There are great anecdotes that show the level of confusion that depression creates, which is something I’ve never encountered in any other treatise on depression. Non-sufferers have no idea that there is so much forgetting. One’s short term memory is absolutely shot. Sometimes you have to physically strain to remember something important you did or said just hours before. There’s also confusion in miscalculating socially appropriate responses – how you should conduct yourself and the expectation of others, which can lead to appalling, though not maliciously intended, behavior. 

Styron also describes the pain that is depression. He quotes William James: “It is a positive and active anguish, a sort of psychical neuralgia wholly unknown to normal life.” (The Varieties of Religious Experience) He also describes how his depression would put him into a “trance . .  a condition of helpless stupor in which cognition was replaced by that ‘positive and active anguish.’” There is not only mental anguish, but actual physical pain as well. Beyond the chemical imbalance in the brain, the body undergoes an assault.

He also discusses the indifference expressed by those who have never been depressed towards those who have. He almost begs for some understanding or at least a lack of judgment of those that commit suicide, because “the pain of severe depression is quite unimaginable to those who have not suffered it, and it kills in many instances because its anguish can no longer be borne. . . but to the tragic legion who are compelled to destroy themselves there should be no more reproof attached than to the victims of terminal cancer.”

Depression can be like being weightless in a fog where one’s sound doesn’t even carry. Or like being trapped under a boulder without any hope of rescue. Or in a rioting prison, being jostled around with a knife to your throat. Whatever form it takes, it’s real. If you know someone who’s going through it, try to understand that there exists a horror YOU can’t see or hear or feel, even though it’s in the room with you and inhabiting someone you love.

This is a must read for anyone who has suffered through depression and for anyone who knows someone who has done so. Though it’s a book about depression, it’s not a downer. There are even some cheeky bits that made me giggle, but it’s not flippant.  Just read it. It’ll take you only an hour or so.

[Here’s a quote from the book for my friends EZGZ, The Gos, and Tiny: “One develops fierce attachments. Ludicrous things – my reading glasses, a handkerchief, a certain writing instrument – became the objects of my demented possessiveness.”]

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

This book is an easy read dealing with a difficult topic in a light way. Skeeter, a Southern debutante in 1962 Mississippi, comes home from college and wants more out of life than getting married and being a member of the Junior League. Her friends are all married and, though don’t seem to like it, can’t imagine another life so they try to be the best at what they are, which brings out the worst in them. These friends have maids and it’s 1962 and it’s Mississippi, so the dynamic between them and their maids is mostly racist. Skeeter notices the dynamic, though she doesn’t really address it as racism, (which bothered me the most about this book) and she decides that the dynamic from the point of view of the maids is a story worth telling and sees it as her ticket to becoming a published author and getting out.

There are the usual cringe-worthy moments of false accusations and condescension. There are also a few humorous moments. There’s even a mini-love story involving Skeeter AND a mystery involving Skeeter’s childhood maid. The mini-love story was unnecessary and didn’t really move the story forward or add any depth to Skeeter, but I’m guessing the author thought it was necessary to show Skeeter as a warm blooded woman (and not a total, radical feminist), but still able to stick to her goals.  The revelation in regards to the mystery was so anti-climactic that I thought I had forgotten how to read and wasn’t understanding the actual words.

When the movie came out, I heard some rumblings about it being racist because it was about a white person helping black people. I wouldn’t say it was racist or even whitewashed. The most troubling part was Skeeter’s desire to be different, but not clearly describing from what and not knowing what was happening all around her. Her ignorance was a little jarring and it made her innocence seem feigned. I think that’s what bothered some people. But even that much should’ve been cleared up with one line from Minny: “I just . . . I want things to be better for my kids, but it’s a sorry fact that it’s a white woman doing this.” It’s a light, but not fun read.

I started reading this book after I finished the third book in the Songs of Ice and Fire. I needed a palate cleanser. It was a strange transition, though. Both books set up the chapters with the character’s name it covers and is from the point of view of that character.  I adjusted after the hundredth page. Looking back, I’m pretty sure Tyrion Lannister and Minny would probably get along. As would Cersei and all of the members of the Junior League. And those maids would’ve fit right in at Harrenhal.   

The Passage by Justin Cronin

In a nutshell: Like Stephen King’s The Stand with vampires.

I swear this is a pretty good read. It just takes a while to get there.  The initial individual stories are a bit disjointed, but the reader winds up with a clear picture of how the end of the civilization comes about.  

There’s an expedition in Ecuador. They’re looking for the fountain of youth? A virus? (I didn’t remember by the end.) The government gets involved. There’s a criminal. Then there are some feds. Then some more criminals. Then a young mom. Then nuns. Then nuns with a little girl. Then the feds with the little girl. Once the story seemingly comes together, the reader is transported 100 years into the future to a new story. Then it’s great for a while.

The descendants of a group of survivors have created a world and lives for themselves. There are old feuds, love triangles, and even hopes and dreams. Considering the number of pages, it’s disappointing that some of the characters weren’t more developed. Some of them realize that they can’t stay within the walls forever and a group set out on a quest: to find more survivors; to find the source of a radio beacon; to discover the world outside of their walls. They find all that they desired and more.

    

I don’t mind some characters being killed off, but not almost all of them. And don’t create extensive backgrounds that seem to be leading somewhere if they just lead to nothing. I prefer books that deal with character development rather than plot. Apocalyptic stories tend to center around the dynamics within the group of survivors. There wasn’t a whole lot of that here. Justin Cronin spends too much time with the set up. Though there are multiple points of view in this story, the reader only gets to know one character in depth.  This book is supposed to be part of a trilogy. The second book comes out in October. I’ll probably read it.